It's Festivus, that made-up-on-Seinfeld seasonal celebration that includes perhaps my favorite holiday tradition: the Airing of Grievances. Traditionally (and by that I mean "on the show"), the AofG occurs after Festivus dinner, and consists of telling your family how much they've disappointed you. I, like many other bloggers, am altering this tradition to telling the entire world how much it's disappointed me. My Grievances are many, so abandon all hope Ye who enter here (also, There Be Profanity).
1. Authors Can Be Supremely Bitchy. I begin with my biggest grievance of the year. For the majority of my blogging life, I've associated only with dead authors. Their conversation (in my head) is charming, their faults (in my head) are just quirky foibles. But as I come to associate with more and more living authors through work and social media, I've begun to realize that they put on their Bitch Face with surprising frequency. This isn't really different than any other group of people, but again, my sheltered "dead people only" thing I had going there turned my Mental Image of Writer Folks into something totally inaccurate. My idealized version of authors as Benevolent Bearers of Thoughts and Things is no more. I suppose what I mean by this is, Authors Can Be Human. I hate that. BE MY NAIVE IDOLS, PEOPLE. Stop using your influence for evil! Attached to this is a sub-grievance: People Who Won't Stand Up to Best-Selling Authors Because THEY'RE FAMOUS. Vomit.
**In the previous and upcoming Grievance, I don't mean "bitchy" in the snarky-smart-ass-funny way that I usually mean it. I mean it in the judgmental, catty, malicious sort of way.***
2. Bloggers Can Be Supremely Bitchy. I mean, WOW. The book blogosphere is so much cattier than I ever imagined. Here I was, thinking I had found my people. FOR THE MOST PART YOU ARE ALL MY PEOPLE, but there is a surprising amount of drama up in this hizzy. It's a crazy time to be a book blogger, what with the FATE OF PUBLISHING constantly changing and the Role of the Blogger being up for constant debate- this leads to ALL THE OPINIONS BEING THROWN AROUND. Most of the drama seems to revolve around whether or not bloggers are allowed to make money without having "sold out." This holier-than-thou attitude of WELL I BLOG BECAUSE I LOVE IT and if you make $2 a year you are THE DEVIL AND ALSO DON'T LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DO just ergh. People are allowed to make a living doing what they love. It's fine. It'll be ok. It doesn't mean you're any less Awesome. This is a big sandbox, people. Can't we all play nice?
3. Bloggers Don't Owe Authors or Publishers Shit, So Leave Me Alone. There's been a lot of kerfuffle this year about bloggers/reviewers (whatever) being big fat meanie-heads who shouldn't publish negative reviews. Except if your book sucks, I'm going to say so. My blog is my blog and my Twitter feed is my Twitter feed, and in my space I'll say whatever the hell I please. I owe MYSELF and my READERS the truth about a book. I don't owe AUTHORS or PUBLISHERS anything. ADDITIONALLY, Mr. Publisher Face, just because bloggers accept ARCs does not mean they suddenly work for you. Imposing deadlines on a hobbyist in the name of more free publicity for yourself is SHITTY CORPORATE ENTITLEMENT and you can GO SUCK A DUCK.
4. Amazon. Amazon is a mega-corporation that doesn't care about readers or books and is intent on destroying small business owners across the country. And they're building a distribution center in my city, so now I have to feel it's icky physical presence while it continues to not pay sales tax in my state. Who need roads/schools/libraries when you have bribe money to burn!
5. Pandora's Indie Christmas Station Only Seems to Know About the Vocal Stylings of She and Him. Whilst I love Zooey, I'm tired of her voice.
6. Candy Canes Suck. Similarly to candy corn. Seasonal candy fail.
7. Anonymous Commenters. Anonymous comments are almost never nice. The cowardice of not even attaching your name to your rude comments is astounding. It's not like I'm going to hunt you down and find you because you disagree with me or call me something stupid. Own your snide remarks.
I think that's all. I feel much better- free to move into the New Year with a more even-keeled outlook. FEEL FREE to Air your own Grievances below. I love a good rant-fest. Let's get it off our chests, guys!
I agree on all points, especially that candy canes suck. I can only think of one thing to add:
ReplyDeleteI hate that the week leading up to Christmas you're expected to be at everyone's house for every single holiday party. I'm not against visiting with loved ones but at some point I'd like to just chill out and breathe, and perhaps read a book while I bake my own cookies.
Actually, Amazon isn't the one not paying sales tax, the shoppers are. Amazon just isn't collecting it. Almost all states have laws on the books requiring internet shoppers to self-declare their purchases and make all local sales tax payments when they file their tax returns. Of course, no one does this, whether they don't know or figure they can get away with it.
ReplyDeleteAmazon is actually supporting legislation on the federal level that will require all internet sellers to collect sales taxes, but there is a lot of opposition in congress and the senate.
Which isn't to say it isn't a demon monster corporation.
Jenn- YES. I appreciate this more now that I have to lug two kids around. I just...it takes forever to even leave the house...so I'm not going to. SO THERE!
ReplyDeleteJoel- This makes me wary. Why are they supporting this legislation? What's in it for them?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt means they will stop having to fight costly state-by-state sales tax battles and deal with a myriad of differing local laws. If it is a federal law, it will be consistent throughout the land.
ReplyDeleteThat's why it is having a rough time passing though -- the GOP isn't big on taxing interstate commerce or whatever. Because when those laws were written many moons ago, they were totally anticipating a magic box that would make books and clothes appear at your door within two business days.
I completely agree with everything you said! (Except that I do kind of enjoy a candycane once a year on Christmas. There is never an excuse for candy corn, though.)
ReplyDeleteI love when authors are nice and the things they post on the internet make me love their work even more. Why, though, do authors sometimes respond to not-so-great book reviews with quasi-bitchy comments? I mean, yeah I didn't love your book, but don't make me feel like a jackass for being honest.
I'd call this more of a manifesto--in a good way, that is.
ReplyDeleteAnd a very minor but culturally relevant grievance for me is that Ben & Jerry's has stopped making Festivus for the Rest of Us ice cream flavor, which was gingerbread-with-caramel-swirl goodness.
And Amazon. I can't even get started on Amazon. But as you say, who could possibly think that having good public schools and good public libraries is important?
And when you can get them new-fangled Candy Cane flavors (like raspberry), it ain't all bad, as long as nobody is trying to convince me of their Christian symbolism.
Oh I love this. LOVE THIS.
ReplyDeleteAs a New Yorker, I have to pay sales tax on Amazon. I don't mind that.
I agree with a lot of your rants but will also admit to being very catty, I mean I could be worse I guess but won't pretend like I'm not grouchy hahahaha.
AND HOLY CRAP YES I AM NOT YOUR BITCH, PUBLISHER! I mean if I am in this strictly for the free books, I'm making less than minimum wage (when you consider a book's cost, how much time it takes to read, and how much time it takes to review) thus I prefer not to be treated like an employee.
Also I am positive I can guess the author in grievance number 1 and the kerfluffle in grievance number 2. (Too much time on twitter for this blogger)
Amazon keeps me out of the mall at Christmas...and me out of the mall keeps people alive and my blood pressure down. I wouldn't mind paying sales tax on my purchases; any amount is cheaper than me being in jail ;)
ReplyDeleteI love candy canes too!!! :(
I completely agree with you on #3 though...I have been blogging for only 2 years but I've for the most part kept to myself and not reached out much to the outside world of ARC' etc. for the very reasons you mentioned. If I review a book, it's going to be honest. If I didn't like it, I didn't like it. That doesn't mean someone else might not like it, and I try to be specific about what I didn't like. I won't tolerate anybody trying to tell me what to think. :p so there! ;)
I also agree with you and commenter Jenn about all the activities, parties we're expected to attend along with all the other "stuff" in our lives on top of Christmas. I have almost become a recluse at Christmas bc of the stressful demands. I refuse to go. Hence again my dependence on Amazon.
Yours is the 3rd Festivus post I've read; I had forgotten all about that episode of Seinfeld...funny stuff :):)
I love your blog. I think you're awesome, and I agree with every single one of your points. And I'm anonymously leaving a nice comment. Woot!
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that will blow your mind - I got a really amazingly nice, polite pitch from an author who'd read my blog and commented specifically on recent posts I'd made. It was like an alternate universe.
Joel- INTERESTING. I will look into this.
ReplyDeleteRayna- Candy canes are the devil. They are sticky and hard to eat.
As the Crowe- What Christian symbolism? OH is it because they're shaped like a shepherd's crook or something?
April- But you're not SECRETLY snarky. You're opinionated and don't hide it- that's not the same as being all *whispers behind hand* that blogger is sucky blah blah blah. You're all STOP SUCKING, PEOPLE. This is why we love you. (And I bet you can guess mumble stupid author mumble)
Peppermint PhD-AMEN! It's one thing to be totally rude about your post, but if you've honestly laid out why you don't like something, that's your right. Hate on!
Anonymous- I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I WILL HUNT YOU- oh. ;)
I bought a Christmas present for my SIL because its Black Friday sale price on the item was significantly lower (like $20 difference). I felt dirty after that. But my cheapness won the day
ReplyDeleteAmen on the Anonymous Commenters. Doesn't matter the forum or subject, 99.9999% percent of them are chickens who don't won't own up to their opinions or use it to act like an uber bitch. And the ones in The Sims community do this about the stupidest things you could imagine. Like dark screen captures and monitor settings.
I don't get the idea of not publishing negative reviews. If people have the same comments about it, how do writers learn what works or doesn't if no one publishes the less than favorable reviews?
All the commenters have been far more erudite. So I'm just going to go with "I hear you".
ReplyDeleteI work in retail real estate so I know far more than I'd like to about the fight of online retailers vs. brick-and-mortar.
ReplyDeleteThis link (and the comments) have good background.
http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/bookselling/article/49446-marketplace-fairness-act-gets-amazon-aba-backing.html
WAIT. You DON'T like candy canes? I think of my Christmas tree first and foremost as a convenient place to store candy canes until they're eaten.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if we can be friends anymore.
We can't be friends if you don't like candy canes. Rowr! (That's my cat impression.)
ReplyDeleteAll my anonymous commenters want is for me to buy fake purses and b*ner pills.
Hold 'em up one way and they look like shepherd's crooks. Hold 'em up the other way and they are a J for Jesus. And the red represents his blood on the cross and the white his purity, or some such nonsense. Totally ruined me on candy canes for a while.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI had to post because I now feel better that I am not the only person who HATES AMAZON!!!
ReplyDeleteBEST. POST. EVER. Or maybe just in the last week. You do have a lot of great posts. I would just like to say, especially as I never comment, that the best emails I get in my inbox are notifications of your blog posts.
ReplyDeleteI think I've been very lucky with authors, but I have had a few that have thought they were the be all and end all, expecting me to review the way they wanted or meet a deadline. It's ridiculous. I'm doing all of this because I enjoy it and it's a hobby, not a job! You want a deadline and for me to crap on in a way that's not me, then pay me! Otherwise, suck it up. Yes, I completely agree with you.
I've boycotted those writers though. As soon as they're an arse, they're out!
I was surprised with the bitchy blogger one. I haven't come across bitchy yet, but maybe I'm too anti-social...
Thanks for airing your grievances! Happy Holidays to you.
Fantastic post, Amanda. I don't have anything to add to it, or to the comments, but I didn't want to lurk & leave just in case you hunt down lurkers too!
ReplyDeleteHere here! The grievances have been aired! Huzzah!
ReplyDeleteNow on to the Feats of Strength!
(Also, please post a pic of your Festivus Pole)
You go girl!
ReplyDeleteI will never understand why publishers/authors think that "giving" a blogger a book buys them a glowing review. Readers would never trust a blogger who did that.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much, I think I just cried a little.
ReplyDeleteMelissa: I have no idea why promotion people think that their clients are dumb enough to fall for the "HEY This book IS GREAT!!1!1! I am not being paid to say this at all!" stuff. It's strange and annoying. I have no qualms about being paid as a result of my blogging, but I have massive problems with someone paying me to fake an opinion.
Wonderful post! I love a good honest rant (especially when I don't disagree with any of the points made, hee), and I'm now considering adding Seinfeld to my never-ending TBW list ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your honest opinions! I'm completely new to the book blogging world, and I started it simply to express my thoughts on books. I like a good story, and sometimes I'd rather hang out with characters than people.
ReplyDeleteI'm a down to earth, no bullshit person and I'm glad there are other bloggers out there with a unique voice and opinions (good AND bad).
So, thanks again for your thoughts!